Episode #18 – “The Blizzcon Episode”

Episode #18 – “The Blizzcon Episode”

Nov 05

Our eighteenth episode features Tzufit and Apple Cider focusing on Blizzcon and all of the speculation surrounding this exciting event for Blizzard. Discussion includes talking about the new WoW expansion, Heroes of the Storm and Diablo III as well as some expac speculation.

Rate, comment and subscribe to us on iTunes and now Stitcher Radio!

Below the cut is a full transcript of Episode 18, “The Blizzcon Episode”

Tzufit:  Welcome again everyone.  Today we are going to have our pre-Blizzcon episode.  We will be talking about the things that we are excited to see and to hear about and to have revealed to us.  Then we are actually going to make a few of our own speculations and predictions toward the end of the show.  Should be lots and lots of fun.  But first and foremost, we should point out that, of the two of us, I will be watching Blizzcon from home.  We did purchase the virtual ticket so that we can see everything happening in live-time.  But Apple Cider Mage will be there in person.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  I’m actually pretty excited.  It’s going to be a huge trip for me, a huge vacation.  We’re going to go all out this year.  This will be my fifth Blizzcon, so I’m kind of a veteran.  I’ve kind of done this dance before.  I will be taking a road trip out to Blizzcon, as I’ve talked about on my blog, with Anne Stickney from WoW Insider and Alex Ziebart, who is the editor-in-chief of WoW Insider as well.  We are going to be flying out on Monday morning and we’re going to be driving from Colorado to California, and stay a couple days.  Then Blizzcon will happen and then we’re going to stay another couple days and then we’re going to drive home.  So it’s going to be a crazy trip and going to hopefully meet tons of people and see tons of panels and get tons of news.  Now we don’t really know if we’ll be able to score any interviews or anything on the ground, because I think my technical situation is still kind of up in the air.  We’ll probably know a little bit better, but when this episode actually goes live, we’re probably still not going to know.  But hopefully we can get some good stuff for you guys or at least bring back some good commentary once I actually get back from my trip.

Tzufit:  I am sure we will have plenty to talk about.

Apple Cider Mage:  Judging from previous years, yeah.

Tzufit:  Yeah.  Once everything has been revealed and everything that’s going to go down has gone down, I am sure we will have lots and lots to talk about.

Apple Cider Mage:  It’s going to be a very uninteresting Blizzcon.  Nothing is going to happen.

Tzufit:  As usual.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  I’m really excited, also a little bit nervous, because last time that I went to Blizzcon obviously was 2011.  I’ve written about it a couple of times.  But Blizzcon has a propensity for doing or having some just off the wall stuff occur while going on.  Not to mention things like the raid competition, which should be exciting this year, as well as things like the Corpsegrinder incident.  So I’m hoping that Blizzard has kind of learned their lesson and grown up from their mistakes and that we won’t have anything like that really icky this year.

Tzufit:  Yeah.  It’s been two years.  We’re all a little older.  All a little wiser.  You know?  Hopefully we won’t have a repeat of those sorts of things, but you never know.  Unfortunately, when you get that many different people, strangers, in an event together, unpredictable things are going to happen.

Apple Cider Mage:  Absolutely.  So what are we looking to see at Blizzcon this year?  Obviously Tzufit’s going to be watching.  I’m going to actually be there.  But what are our predictions for things that are actually going to happen at Blizzcon?

Tzufit:  Oh, I don’t know.  This little thing from 12:30 to 2:00 on Friday that says “World of Warcraft:  What’s Next?”  I feel like that might be slightly important to me personally.  I don’t know, though.

Apple Cider Mage:  I’m not going.  I mean, “What’s next?”  It’s going to be more World of Warcraft.  What’s exciting about that?

Tzufit:  Exactly.  I mean we’re going to get another patch and there’ll be other bosses to kill.  But, you know, that can’t possibly take up an hour and a half of time.

Apple Cider Mage:  I heard – just on the down low – I heard that it was just going to be Chris Metzen shaking his booty up on stage.

Tzufit:  This would not surprise me in the slightest.

Apple Cider Mage:  I am a geek!  But yes, we are going to be getting expansion news.  I’m so excited because Blizzard has done a very good job of telling absolutely no one what this expansion is going to be about.

Tzufit:  Yeah.  This is really exciting this year.  The last Blizzcon, obviously, was when Mists of Pandaria was announced and because there was so much stuff leaked in advance of that, it wasn’t really that big of a shocker or maybe a shocker at all when Mists of Pandaria was announced.  Now obviously, we didn’t know all the specifics.  There were lots of cool announcements that happened along the way.  But in terms of the big focal point of the expansion and the name of the expansion, we more or less knew that going into Blizzcon last time.  This year, we have hints of what the expansion name may be, but it’s not anywhere near as concrete as it was two years ago.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah, and we here at Justice Points have actually potentially gotten some inside information that we’re actually going to discuss at the end of the show.  So you should really stick around and listen for that.  Predictions for the expansion – I mean, everybody’s saying Corgis Unleashed.  I’m not so sure.

Tzufit:  I know.  Corgis Unleashed does seem like the obvious way to go.  It would make sense for the lore that that’s where we would be headed next.  But I think maybe that that was just a diversion and we might see something different.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  But all jokes aside, I am really surprised that Blizzard has managed to keep a lid on the information.  We don’t even know who’s going to be playing at the end of Blizzcon this year.  Usually they’ve announced that, too.

Tzufit:  Yeah, and it definitely makes the whole experience a lot more exciting.  I’m sure especially, Apple Cider, since you’re going to be there in person, knowing that you’re going to be standing in that room with all those people and nobody knows what’s going to be said on stage next.  That’s very cool.  However Blizzard has handled this reveal differently than they did two years ago, just kudos to that team because it really has made a difference and amped up the excitement in a very palpable way.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  Obviously there’s been a year gap between the two Blizzcons, so of course everybody’s excitement is cranked up to 12, but the fact that they have done such a good job at like knocking down leaks and tightening the screws as far as information goes, it definitely makes Blizzcon a more exciting experience when, yes, you do not know what’s coming next.  We won’t end up with the “I am a geek” speech like we did one year.  Honestly, I believe it’s because Blizzard has started implanting bombs in people’s brains when they do fansite stuff.

Tzufit:  Yeah, I’ve heard that as well.  I think it makes a lot of sense and I think it’s probably a good measure because you don’t want that kind of stuff revealed to the public too early.  There’s no way to ensure that people aren’t going to do that unless you put a bomb in their brain.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  Anybody can break an NDA.  But a bomb in their brains?  That’s just the kind of future thinking, progressive attitudes towards leaks that we like to see from Blizzard.

Tzufit:  So of course, in addition to the Warcraft news – the World of Warcraft news – that will be coming out at Blizzcon, we also have a few other games that will be discussed, such as the newly rebranded Heroes of the Storm and, of course, everybody’s favorite beta test, Hearthstone.

Apple Cider Mage:  Absolutely.  Tzufit, have you actually gotten a Hearthstone key yet?

Tzufit:  Oh yeah.  I’ve had it for a while now.

Apple Cider Mage:  Well that’s good, because I have had one for a while and I just haven’t really played it a ton.  I know that they’ve sort of revamped a little bit of the starting experience and things like that from when I started playing.  I definitely think it’s a really good game and the fact that they’ll probably be having a demo of it for all of you guys that still have not played this yet, they’re probably going to be having a fairly polished demo at Blizzcon, considering the fact that I believe that Hearthstone is probably in its final stages of beta testing at this point.

Tzufit:  Yeah, the beta is really far along.  It’s really polished.  To me, I doubt there’s a whole lot left to do aside from individual card balancing issues.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah, like mages.  Not that I’m complaining, because that’s my favorite class to play in Hearthstone.

Tzufit:  And should it truly take 2 hours to defeat a priest?

Apple Cider Mage:  It’s going to be a demo at Blizzcon most assuredly, but now let’s talk about Heroes of the Storm.  Obviously they just rebranded the name from Blizzard All-Stars, which honestly that kind of made more sense as a name, but I suspect that they wanted to completely rebrand it in order to give it kind of its own unique place in the Blizzard catalogue – except for the fact that the acronym for Heroes of the Storm, magically seems to be the same acronym for the Starcraft expansion, Heart of the Swarm.

Tzufit:  Yeah.  Maybe a little confusing.  Then of course there’s also the stuff that people have brought up recently, which is that Heroes of the Storm is already trademarked in the EU, which could be a little bit problematic.

Apple Cider Mage:  I actually have the information about that.  In particular, it turns out – and this is by no means 100% qualified.  I have not spoken to Blizzard about this in the slightest.  But it looks like from initial fact-finding or whatever, that that may not be the case.  The guy that has the trademark or used to have had the trademark for Heroes of the Storm in Finland only actually applied for it.  He didn’t get it granted.  Blizzard probably had it granted to them before he applied for it.

Tzufit:  Oh, well that will be good news for them then.

Apple Cider Mage:  They’re still aggressively requiring people to call it Heroes, though.  So of course there’ll never be any confusion about what it is.

Tzufit:  I’m sure that nobody will refer to it as DotA.

Apple Cider Mage:  Oh absolutely.  I think that’s actually pretty funny to me that Blizzard has had to reestablish and rebrand something that they started in the first place.  But because of how mods and things like that work – for anybody that doesn’t know, DotA, which is Defense of the Ancients, was actually a fan-created map for I believe it was Warcraft 3.  Because of that fan-created mod, and it became so popular, the fan actually I believe he somehow got rights to it because he did all of the work and it was pretty original.  It was just using the assets.  So that person takes the map and I believe he either sold it to or works for Valve.  So Valve got the Defense of the Ancients name and got rights to make that into a full blown game.  Then of course all of the other “DotA clones” come out and the MOBA genre in general are all pretty heavily based on DotA.  But then Blizzard decides that they want to be part of the MOBA genre, the DotA clones, and things like that, which is funny because it was their original game where it came from.  So now they’re in the mix as well and doing their own thing.  So it’s also a very convoluted, roundabout way to being able to publish a game.  I don’t think there’s any guarantees that I’ll probably play it because the MOBA genre and DotA is not really my cup of tea from a community standpoint.  But it’ll be interesting to see who they actually use for their characters.

Tzufit:  That definitely will be interesting.  That’s one of the things I was sort of fascinated with with Hearthstone was seeing who are the Warcraft characters that Blizzard has suggested to be sort of the ultimate examples of each of the 10 classes they picked.  Note that there are not 11 classes because Monks have been excluded.  But whatever.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah, the fact that Hearthstone only used 2 female champs for their cards makes me wonder if they’re going to do somewhat of the same thing for their Heroes of the Storm.  I really hope that it’s not the case, considering that DotA-like games and MOBA genre games often have many, many, many champions.  Only having 2 out of a potential of say like 50 would be really terrible.

Tzufit:  Well and the 2 that they chose for Hearthstone are a little strange.  Obviously Jaina for mage, we like that.  Spot on.  A+.  Justice Points seal of approval.  But Valeera as the rogue, that one really threw me because when I think, “Who is the ultimate rogue in Warcraft,” Valeera is not actually the first person who comes to my mind.  I would certainly have thought Garonna or even Mathias Shaw before I would have necessarily thought Valeera.  But all of that aside, at least we have one other lady in Hearthstone, because that only gives us 2 out of 10.  Everybody else is a guy.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  It doesn’t make a lot of sense.  I’m thinking that Blizzard will at least go with a good portion of the male champs because the original DotA that most of this stuff is all based on had quite a high number of female champs.  Obviously they couldn’t use the Blizzard character names for it in the DotA that Valve eventually put out or published.  I’m probably getting all of this game information really wrong and we’re going to have 1000 comments saying that we’re not really into video games or anything like that.

Tzufit:  You don’t know the history of DotA?  Oh my god.

Apple Cider Mage:  They obviously had to use more general names for the characters.  But honestly, initial guess for Heroes of the Storm is it’s going to include a priest-ranger, so Tyrande.  It’s going to include Tyrande Whisperwind.  It’s definitely going to include a dark ranger, a.k.a. Sylvanas.  So I think that that’s going to be at least 2 because of-

Tzufit:  Well, and just judging from the way that the missions worked in the original Warcraft 1, 2, and 3, the night elf campaign was always a pretty huge factor in those.  Obviously when you’re talking about night elf warriors, you’re talking about a whole lot of lady night elves.  So it would be kind of surprising if they get left out, particularly Tyrande, because she’s all over especially Warcraft 3.

Apple Cider Mage:  Well yeah.  Well that’s what the original DotA map included and what other games have included.  Not just DotA that I’m talking about, I’m talking about like League of Legends, Heroes of Newerth.  They’ve all included things kind of like “moon queen.”  They’ve included like a ranger of some type.  So even the “knock offs” have all included character types that are eerily similar to champions and other major lore figures that are from the Warcraft universe.  Blizzard not including them would be a little bit shortsighted.

Tzufit:  It would just be strange.  It would be a weird oversight.  It would almost have to be a conscious decision and I really doubt that that’s a decision they would want to make, hopefully.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  Now the interesting thing about Heroes of the Storm – I do believe that they are including champions that are from all 3 of their games.  So we’re not just looking at a potential for Warcraft.  We’re also looking at a potential for any Diablo characters, any Starcraft universe characters.  We definitely have potential candidates for any of the Diablo classes that feature women – female barbarian, or crusader, which we’ll also talk about.  Things like-

Tzufit:  Kerrigan.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yes, Kerrigan.

Tzufit:  There’s no way Kerrigan wouldn’t be in there.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yes.  So I mean there’s definitely potential there for quite a few female champions.  So I’m really hoping that they go a little bit more aggressively balanced with their representation.  Besides Heroes of the Storm obviously, there’s announcements for 2 of their other games.  It seems like they wait a year for Blizzcon and now they can have things to announce for every game.

Tzufit:  Everything.

Apple Cider Mage:  Everything.  Diablo is going to be getting an expansion, Reaper of Souls, which was one of the trademarks that actually got unearthed during the trademark unearthing frenzy.  It was revealed at the – I believe it was at GamesCon, I think it was, or it was one of the European press gaming events.  It looks like, for the expansion, one of the main draws of the expansion is that Diablo is getting a whole new player class, and that is going to be the crusader.  That looks super cool, like so cool.  I’m so excited.

Tzufit:  I am more excited about seeing where the rest of the story goes with Diablo because I felt like we ended in a very up in the air place at the end of the story for Diablo 3.  So I am really interested to see where we’re going with everything and all of the loose ends that are still completely untied.  I can’t wait to see what they do with all that.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  Diablo 3 had a pretty open and shut storyline for most elements.  Obviously, OK, you find out that Leah is Diablo and her mother specifically set that up.  You save the day.  You kill Diablo.  All ends well, but when they previewed the expansion cinematic, you see that there are artifacts of great power and there’s like a dark angel.  So the story’s definitely going in a very cool direction that actually – I mean obviously Diablo is never going to be the great American novel in terms of storytelling, and it’s pretty much been telescoped that the dark angel is somehow in league with Diablo, who never really truly dies or else there wouldn’t be any Diablo games.  But it’ll be interesting to see what kinds of things we will be doing in that game, considering the fact that Diablo was really fun the first 2 times I played through all of the content, but definitely not the third or the fourth.

Tzufit:  Right, and of course the other major announcement that was not at Blizzcon but was not too long ago was the removal of the Auction House, which is going to drastically change the way that a lot of people play that game and make some things a lot more important that you could kind of gloss over before.  So it’ll be interesting to see how much of a second life Diablo really gets from the changes that they’re making and from this new expansion.  Very exciting.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah, I just want to play a badass lady in plate with a giant shield.

Tzufit:  See you know what, maybe because I’m just not a huge paladin fan in general, I will be sticking with my monk.  I’ve been playing my monk from moment 1 in Diablo and I love her little pixie haircut.  I wish I could pull that off myself.  I’m happy to stick with my monk and bring her through to the rest of the content that they’re adding.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  Obviously I have a level 60 mage and she has like a giant legendary weapon that I spend like 2 million gold on.  But I’m actually – the one thing that I wasn’t quite clear about is that – OK.  So obviously the crusader class is a little bit more of like a holy class.  So you’d think that they’d be patterned a little bit more off of the angels in sort of the Diablo lore.  I honestly would have thought that that would have been a great place to introduce characters, outside of maybe like the witchdoctor and the wizard classes, to introduce another class of people that aren’t so blindingly white.

Tzufit:  Oh yeah, that’s an interesting point.  But certainly not a direction that they went in.

Apple Cider Mage:  Obviously.  Because they did a pretty good job in the initial Diablo 3 of making some of the classes kind of come from different places, either ethnically or sort of geography-wise.  Although, we’re not going to get into my feelings on how they portrayed witchdoctors.

Tzufit:  Yeah, I was going to say.

Apple Cider Mage:  But I just thought that the crusader would have been another great place to introduce non-white, blonde-haired people.  So we’ll see where that goes.  Other game announcements, other than the expansions that are being released – do we think that we’re going to see any Titan news?

Tzufit:  It really doesn’t look like it from the schedule, and I think that’s not too surprising because it sounds like that is very much on the back burner or repurposed or who knows what.  The other big announcement that I believe is on the Saturday schedule is that we’re going to get a whole hour of time devoted to the Warcraft movie.

Apple Cider Mage:  I don’t know how that’s supposed to work, considering the fact that it doesn’t even start shooting until next year.

Tzufit:  Yeah.  I mean it seems like it’s going to have to be a lot of speculation or like concept art or something, because you’re certainly not going to have any actual footage to show us yet.  But I think it would be really cool if maybe we get a sense of what parts of Warcraft history the plot might cover, any idea of what characters will be involved, because we have a lot of history that the movie could potentially cover.  I think the biggest mistake that could be made with that is to try to cover too much lore, because it could be really disjointed and terrible.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  I’ve heard some initial speculation that it’s going to cover a chunk of the Warcraft 3 history or universe and probably include people like Medivh.  That’s just sort of early speculation.  So if they’re already shooting in January or February of next year, that means that they have a script.  They have a script that’s done.  So that’s probably, yeah, what most of the time is going to be about is concept work, what the story’s actually going to be about, not just the sort of story teaser that they showed off at the GamesCon.  But yeah, so we have a lot of things that are going to be talked about and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to make every panel.  But trust, listeners, that I will be attempting to get on to Twitter with a completely hosed data plan in a giant meeting hall full of other people trying to use the internet, just to get these updates to you.

Tzufit:  Well, and fortunately the nice thing about the virtual ticket is that if we don’t catch something live, I can go back and watch it later because you have so much access time after the fact to go ahead and watch that.  So if there are 2 panels happening at the same time and I want to watch both of them, it’s not the end of the world.  I will probably also be doing some tweeting myself that weekend.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah, because you’ll actually be able to get a hold of the internet.

Tzufit:  I will.  I will be sitting in the comfort of my own house, on my own couch, watching what’s going on.  Not as fun as what you’ll be doing, but certainly a little bit better in terms of being able to comment on it on the internet.

Apple Cider Mage:  Oh yeah.  I mean I remember the Mists of Pandaria reveal at 2011.  It was me and my friend or my guildmate, Celine, attempting very hard to use our Twitter on our phones to tell everybody that we were going to be playing Pokemon and rolling pandas.

Tzufit:  And it’s funny how those predictions have come completely true, isn’t it?

Apple Cider Mage:  Exactly.  I’m excited about Blizzcon, but again, I am a little bit jealous that people can have a slightly more comfortable Blizzcon viewing party, although you guys are really missing out on the on the ground smell-o-vision that the rest of us have to endure.

Tzufit:  Yeah.  We will only be smelling the pizza that we order to accompany us through the panels.

Apple Cider Mage:  So other than Blizzcon news per se, is that I’m actually excited about Blizzcon because most of what I do at Blizzcon is attend parties.  That’s kind of what my highlights are.

Tzufit:  Oh yeah.  I mean that’s obviously a big point of going is that you get to interact with the rest of the community in person.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  Now obviously many people who read my blog and who listen to the podcast have no idea what I look like, which is an advantage.  I’m going to be attending the WoW Insider / WoWHead party at the Annabella.  That is on Thursday night starting at 6 or 7 pm.  I am also potentially dropping into the World of Podcasts party that’s at the Red Lion Inn.  I’m not sure if I’m going to that.  It kind of depends about how drunk I get at the WoWHead party.

Tzufit:  That seems like a good measure to take first.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  But I am excited to see a lot of podcasters, a lot of people that read my blog, a lot of just friends and guildmates in particular.  So honestly, just be on the lookout for a short nerdy woman wearing a badge.  That’s pretty easy to identify.

Tzufit:  I’m sure there won’t be any other short nerdy women wearing badges.

Apple Cider Mage:  I know.  I stand out in a crowd, obviously.

Tzufit:  Will you have a pink Mohawk, is the important question here?

Apple Cider Mage:  No, I will not.  Unfortunately, due to some financial constraints, pink Mohawk probably not on the table.

Tzufit:  Well there’s always next Blizzcon.

Apple Cider Mage:  Exactly.  Pigtails, yes.  Pink, probably not.

Tzufit:  Ok.  So we should probably, since we spoilered it at the beginning of the show, and we talked about the fact that we have some insider information here, we should probably go ahead and start to dish on that.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  There’s going to be a new World of Warcraft expansion.  There, I said it.

Tzufit:  Bum bum bum!

Apple Cider Mage:  Now people have been speculating what the name of this expansion actually is.  We don’t have a 100% guaranteed idea of what it is, but it has been, to our sources, codenamed The Dark Below.

Tzufit:  Which is fascinating.  I would never have expected something like that.  It’s very dark and below.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  Now what is below?  What is underneath things?  Um, hello.  The bottom of the ocean.

Tzufit:  Oh.  And what lives in the bottom of the ocean?

Apple Cider Mage:  Fish.

Tzufit:  What else?

Apple Cider Mage:  Azshara.

Tzufit:  There you go.  Ding ding ding.

Apple Cider Mage:  The final boss and also the “big bad” of this proposed expansion that we have heard about is going to be Azshara.  The one, the only.  Don’t even expect the Burning Legion.  They are merely a second fiddle to Azshara’s greatness and fierceness.

Tzufit:  What I have heard from my source, who I think is pretty trustworthy, is that not only is Azshara the big bad, like the final boss that we fight, she is actually every single boss and NPC that we fight for the entire expansion because since Azshara is essentially a mage, she is really really good at Mirror Image.  So she’s just cast it like a million times in a row and has made all of these really powerful copies of herself.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  There’s going to be at least 5 or 6 14-boss raid instances that are filled with nothing but Azshara.

Tzufit:  I think each one is going to have a different wardrobe though, from what I’ve understood, because obviously, they need it.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  But that also brings up another good point.  Another feature of the expansion is actually going to be wardrobes.  You’re not going to only use your bank bags and void storage and backpacks to store clothes for transmog or other sundry occasions.  But you’re also going to have a giant wardrobe that is actually also going to be player housing so that you can walk into your walk-in closet and look at all of the beautiful dresses that you own.

Tzufit:  And you can organize them into outfits and then zip them up in dress bags to make sure that they don’t take any durability damage while they’re closed up in your closet.

Apple Cider Mage:  They can also be sorted by color or alphabetical order.  Some of the other features in the expansion – obviously it’s been rumored that there are new models that are coming down the pipe.  There are not only new models for all of the races, but there’s also going to be new models for all the NPCs that haven’t been revamped already.  And, get this, there’s going to be female NPCs for every single NPC race in the game.  That’s right – female ogres.

Tzufit:  Lady furbolgs.

Apple Cider Mage:  None of them are going to be wearing pink bows.

Tzufit:  Also, very importantly, I’ve heard that due to time constraints, the new models are actually only going to be available to female characters.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  Sorry.  You’re going to have to either roll a female or not get any of the new models at all.  I mean so much technology went into the boobs.  I mean just hours and hours of developer time alone.  So why would they want to waste their time on making male models after that?

Tzufit:  The physics, the equations, I can’t even begin to calculate the hours.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah, seriously.  They’re realistic and they also obey the laws of gravity.  So some of the changes that are coming down the pipe are not just character models or gameplay mechanics, but things like profession changes.  Tzufit, you want to tell us a little bit about that?

Tzufit:  Absolutely.  As has long been the case, gathering professions are a little unbalanced right now because you have Herbalism, which supplies both Inscription and Alchemy.  You have Mining, which supplies both Blacksmithing and Engineering, and actually also Jewelcrafting.  Then you have poor old Skinning, which is a pain in the neck to level as we all know, and it’s really only worthwhile if you’re doing Leatherworking.  You use some leather for a couple other professions, but not in any great numbers.  So one of the ways that I have heard that Blizzard is attempting to balance this out a little is by actually adding in a new profession that uses Skinning and uses animal hides.  That new profession is going to be Taxidermy.

Apple Cider Mage:  Wow.  Basically, you can create and stuff animals using the hides that you have, or you can create models of all of your dead hunter pets or non-combat pets and stuff them into your player housing and/or walk-in closet.

Tzufit:  I’m sure there are probably going to be some battle pets that you can make out of this as well.  I think the possibilities are honestly just endless right now.  Maybe there might even be a mount.

Apple Cider Mage:  Absolutely.  A stuffed Taxidermy mount?  Who doesn’t want to fly on a completely bonkers looking lion made out of tuffs of air and glass eyeballs?

Tzufit:  I want that mount right now.

Apple Cider Mage:  I believe that we’ve heard that there is also going to be an additional class.  We’ve heard it speculated that demon hunters are going to be in the new expansion.  But with that – I mean demon hunters, what do they usually wear?  They usually don’t wear anything on top.  I think this also kind of fits into the new model revamp.  So honestly, I believe that most models and especially with the new class demon hunters, are probably going to be going topless to some degree, as well as getting models that can use tattoos.

Tzufit:  Well thank god they got the boob physics in order, then, if that’s going to be the case.  Otherwise, that would just be silly.

Apple Cider Mage:  Yeah.  Honestly, why do you need armor?  Just put runes on your boobs.

Tzufit:  Runes are good protection.

Apple Cider Mage:  You could also use the blindfold from Illidan.  That could just be an impromptu top anyway.

Tzufit:  Yeah it would cover – it might cover like a boob.

Apple Cider Mage:  That’s really all you need.  But we know that Azshara’s going to be the big bad.  What about the rest of the lore of the game?

Tzufit:  Well, Azshara’s going to come back and really be unhappy with all of the things that happened to her 10,000 years ago.  She’s frankly just not going to be very thrilled with the state of anything in Azeroth at this point since she’s left, because she’s Azshara.  She could have done – oh, I don’t know – like a million times better job leading this than all you people who are over there now.  So Azshara is going to go on a bit of a crusade to deal with some of the current faction leaders.

Apple Cider Mage:  Varian Wyrnn – dead.  Thrall – dead.  Garrosh, obviously – dead.

Tzufit:  Vol’jin, short tenure – dead.

Apple Cider Mage:  Anduin Wyrnn – completely dead.

Tzufit:  Geblin Mekkatorque, we loved you but sorry – dead.

Apple Cider Mage:  Everybody dead.  All the Bronzebeards – well Moira’s still around – but they’re all dead too.

Tzufit:  Basically you’re going to be left with Jaina in charge of the Alliance because – hey Jaina – and Sylvanas in charge of the Horde.

Apple Cider Mage:  This is going to be the faction division that we have been looking forward to for many years.

Tzufit:  Yep.

Apple Cider Mage:  I mean there will be some other faction NPCs around, like Moira or Zaela or whoever Vol’jin’s girlfriend is.  I’m sure she’ll do a better job.  This is a change that has been unheard of since like Cataclysm.  Deathwing just like kicked over some continents and set some things on fire.  But this is the real radical change that we have been looking forward to in the World of Warcraft.

Tzufit:  Yes, exactly.  That, I think, is why the codename for this expansion was World of Warcraft:  Misandry.

Apple Cider Mage:  Mhmm.  Dark Below, I think we all know what the real Dark Below is referring to.

Tzufit:  Um, yeah.  Vagina dentata, anybody?

Apple Cider Mage:  Exactly.  So you heard it here first, folks.  Dark Below, new expansion.  Level 95.  All new bosses, which are only Azshara.  Vagina dentata.  New models, but only females.  New boob jiggle physics.  Demon hunters, tattoos, and taxidermy.  You’re going to hear it at Blizzcon, but you definitely heard it here first.

Tzufit:  And we will be happy to do a Blizzcon roundup the week after Blizzcon is over, so that we can gloat and bask in the glory of how correct all of our predictions have been.

Apple Cider Mage:  And to the Blizzard employee that dropped all of this information on our head, we’re really sorry that you got fired.

Tzufit:  I know, but we super appreciate it and – actually Apple Cider, I hate to break it to you but I don’t think they got fired.  I think that bomb went off.

Apple Cider Mage:  Well, we’ll have a memorial for them in one of our later episodes.

Tzufit:  That sounds like a good idea.

Apple Cider Mage:  Anyway, we will talk to you next time, after Blizzcon.  Hope you enjoyed the show.

Tzufit:  Have fun!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *